Saima Jamaal
Parental Conflict—A Mental Cancer
In a scenario where parents are in a chronic conflict, average heartbeat is a distant dream.
Child psychology studies, “Children can show signs of distress from a very early age; as of 06 months. With time progressing, distress takes a higher toll on children’s overall health where in the long run, disturbed sleep proves amongst the worse disorders.
Conflict-ridden parents often misinterpret their bad luck as good, of having children who complain less. But they are here devoid of a crucial concept that is labelled as non-compliant behaviour. A behaviour type which is rebellious in deep nature and entertains not certain set of rules, regulations and advices. The non-compliant behaviour also results into the incapability to accomplish specified standards in a professional scenario. Non-compliant behaviour is counted amongst the worse counts of a sick behaviour.
Heated and hostile parental conflict is undoubtedly detrimental but much detrimental is “The Silent Treatment” that conflict ridden parental couple often give to each other. Concepts like conflict-resolution also seem a failure to highly volatile couples.
A concept that is actually designed to resolve disagreements down the road. Depending upon the ripeness of native maturity, parental conflict can be either constructive or destructive. Although, conflict in no way helps an individual to grow but in case of constructive conflict, differing ideas and views are comprehended at least.
As fully grown adults; conflict ridden parents should not disclose each other’s flaws to their already suffocating children. It greatly hampers the level of productivity. If the conflict in a financially average family, it surely hampers the mental, emotional and psychological well-being; but in a higher strata it takes the route of financial disagreements, too. Taking into account the mental health of the affected children, whether parents are together or apart, what sucks viciously is the eventual outcome of such chronic inter-personal conflict; a sense of lower self-esteem. In this regard, Professor Gordon Harold from the school of psychology says, “Accumulating evidence points to a substantive message for parents, practitioners and policy makers how parents relate to each other, whether parents are separated or together, represents one of the strongest influences on children’s long term mental health, well-being and future life chances.”
Children of conflict hit couple have an elevated tendency to act the same as their parents in their inter-personal relationships. They have had already been through a coarse scene of a couple that imprints a chronic conflict image. Such imprints are deep rooted in the chronic anxiety where parents are more aggressive towards their children and least responsive to their needs. Parental conflict initially turns a couple dysfunctional in the eyes of their children and eventually toxic. However, amongst the trials to treat such parents, the trial of not to change them is the best. Otherwise, it may lead to conflict breeding. The trial of making toxic parents happy is almost in vain.
There is a hidden but inherent fear that covers the children’s psyche way too badly. Children of toxic parents also carry toxic traits; where they act selfish, lack boundaries, harshly critical and often over-react and create drama. But at the same moment, in certain crucial cases such children act rarely mature in comparison to children of happy couple; because the former have had already acted too grown-up for his/her age. Parental conflict gives obvious birth to “Parental Alienation “and chronic parental alienation results in PTSD “Post traumatic stress order” that leads to problems at school, anxiety, sadness, fear and relationship problems at a later stage. PTSD is literally “A disorder that is characterized by repeated failures to recover after experiencing a terrifying event”. Unfortunate enough that PTSD in our society is taken too lightly but it hollows inwardly; where medication and psychotherapy is required in order to get rid of fear and panic, along with the flashbacks and traumatic memories that eventually makes a well-to-do born a genuine case.
If a couple experiences repeated failures in their understanding, do the immediate favour to each other; cut your beds off before cutting emotionally, because you are producing a case rather than a child you dreamt of.
Saima Jammal is an author and anchor.
