Satire

After Massive ‘Power’ Disruption, January To Be Renamed As July In Kashmir: Sources

Taking a serious note of bone chilling cold and “power-less” nights, authorities have decided to rename the month of January to more favorable month of the year popularly known as “July.”

After receiving severe backlash for being too cold, people in Kashmir wanted the authorities to amend certain laws already put in place to issue yearly calender’s and rename the month of January to July.

Goverment immediately took cognizance of the matter and allowed its officers to use “whitener’s” for changing the names of months on calendars which are already in circulation.

#ChangeJanuaryToJuly has been trending on various social media platforms after PDD employees took to streets and shut down almost all the receiving stations in the valley.

Top unofficial sources while confirming to “The Kashmir Radar” said that the Bill has already been passed regarding changing the name of the month as demanded by the public.

Earlier, a top ranked Buryrocrat, Fayaz Scorpio advised people to store the electricity in the power bulbs hanging in their respective rooms but a section of engineers soon found an engineering fault in his advice and an advisory was issued by the engineers which read, “The physics used while formulating the power storage plan in electric bulbs have been apparently taken from “Sartaj Urdu Grammar,”  so people are advised not to use the technique as advised by the said Buryrocrat.”

Meanwhile people from all walks have welcome the decision of renaming the most notorious month of the year and have extended gratitude towards the authorities for fulfilling their genuine demands.

DISCLAIMER:

This piece is purely based on fiction, any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof of such persons and is not intended to communicate any true or factual information about that person or organisation.

News Desk

News Desk staff at The Kashmir Radar. Posting unbiased news as we believe in pure journalism!

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